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I Love A Little Poetry After Supper
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[30 Aug 2004|11:18pm] |
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As with moving away and such, I am starting a new lj, and getting rid of this one. My new one will actually be updated fairly regularly (or that's the plan) to keep in contact with people still in Muskegon and such... so... here it is: SDDWANNABE
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| Nervous |
[17 Aug 2004|01:03pm] |
First I was going to tell everyone i know personally ...
Then I was going to write a huge email ...
Now I'm just doing this ...
Because I'm scared.
So I was gone all this summer, and now... I am going to be gone some more. Uh ...
There is this private music school that you can go to, and it is amazing... only it costs like 30,000 a year to go to it. And, they offered me like 27,000 in scholarships and whatever, so I really can't turn it down. Which means, that I am not really a student at Reeths Puffer anymore. It is kind of like me moving away, only, it is exactly like that. So, obviously I'm nervous about the whole moving to a new place thing. I'm nervous about what Mr Hodson is going to do to me. I'm nervous about what all my friends here are going to think of me, especially those who called me or wrote me letters (to which I didn't reply, sorry!!) this summer, because I am going to miss everyone alot.... alot alot! And it is really eating away at me (like last night at dinner with ashley and karla... i really wasnt tired) So basically I am nervous, and excited at the same time. Lets look at the good things now though: Tom/Dylan just got a big solo. Karla just got moved up to wind ensemble. That's all I can really think of right now. Anyway, I'll still be around Muskegon until September 8th, when I levae for registration, so I'll still talk to everyone, I just won't be at band.... and I still have yet to let senor chuck now about this.
Umm thats all I have for now.
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[14 Jun 2004|11:30pm] |
George Carlin on Abortion:
"I was a Catholic once. Up until I hit the age of.. oh, about... well, the age of reason."
"What's with Catholics and homosexuals? The Catholics are against abortions. The Catholics are against homosexuals. Who the fuck is less likely to get an abortion then homosexuals? Leave the people alone. Seems like the church would at least try and make natural allies."
"Tell the priests to keep their hands OFF the altar boys. When Jesus said 'children, come on to me', that is NOT what he was talking about"
"Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?"
"How come when it's with us, it's an 'abortion', and when it's with chickens it's an 'omelet'?"
"The longer you listen to this abortion debate, the more you hear the phrase "sanctity of life," "sanctity of life." You believe in it? Personally, I think it's a bunch of shit. I mean, life is sacred? Who said so? God? Hey, if you read history, you realize that God is one of the leading causes of death."
That is all.
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[12 Jun 2004|06:57pm] |
Not too sure who or what I'm updating for, but I'm in the mood to type.
The last day has been crazy, and ive driven almost 130 miles, just in that day.
In 8 days, I'm gone. I'm so scared, but trying not to think about it makes it worse. It's really exciting though and guaranteed I'll have an amazing time. Plus I get to meet Kristen Chenoweth and ask her to marry me... I guess that is ALMOST as good as going to see wicked in new york, caitiln!!!!!
Um I guess I met some new kids yesterday... good stuff, actually. Actually, I'm being serious, for once.
I had the worst ebay experience of my life this week. I've done quite a bit of ebaying, but I bought a brand new ipod from this guy, and then he told me shipping would be 8 weeks, and i was like hell no. So I had to file a complaint with paypal, and one week later, i have my money back. and on top of all that, the deal with him i made to get my money back was to leave him with postiive feedback. i feel kind of bad about that.
This monday I get to see the stepford wives. im pretty excited for that, even though the review say its pretty bad. It has nicole kidman... how can it be!? im not sure even whats happening monday, at all... but it best be damn fun cuz I am not going to kalamazoo for it.
speaking of kalamazoo, thats another 8 week issue. a big one. insert screams here. But, i still have a check to deliver there, thank god.
My aunt is taking me out to dinner tonight and to an undisclosed movie, so im out.
Your mom...... is dead?
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| Your Moment of Zen |
[21 May 2004|05:43pm] |
SDDwannabe: Through all of the tears, we still have each other.
AbeK123: Sometimes we listen to our minds instead of our hearts, because we are afraid of what the heart might tell us.
SDDwannabe: Sometimes we take a chance, follow our hearts, and reap the benefits of living. Follow your heart and live the unexamined life. For it is better to have love and lost then to have never loved at all.
That's the entire conversation... Uhh, random.
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[14 May 2004|11:52am] |
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I've gotten so much done today! And... it is pride day. And my lack of pride kept me home. Actually it's the fact that since my first hour is at North Muskegon... and that is all they are taking attendance in, Reeths Puffer will just think I'm at school all day anyway. When in reality, I'm here, there, everywhere! Pride day is probably going to be like the coolest day ever since I'm missing it, but it doesn't bug me so much... anyway the weather isn't too pride-y out right now anyway. Peace I'm out to lunch.
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[11 May 2004|09:38pm] |
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Wouldn't you figure that the one day I miss school we have a Band con Pedro come into Espanol AND we have cheeseburgers made with real ground beef. I feel raped.
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[10 May 2004|05:28pm] |
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"joshy baby" -- phoeb (aka febe) |
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Prom came, prom left. So did the weekend...
AP Bio test was today... that was a doosey, let me tell ya. Really not that bad, but way too long.
Drop Dead Gorgeous is on Cinemax right now... not sure why that is so funny.
10 days until Chicago-eve. Estoy muy contento. Me bailo.
Got a Kristin Chenoweth CD, not sure how I feel about that. That might be a lie.
Last night at 4:00 AM, I was definately not where I was the night before... uhh.
"Noone mourns the wicked"
Chelsea is in trouble again. She stole and threw away another girl's shoes... WTF!
A person is like a house, occasionally it needs some renovating... and a good shower.
Did I mention Chicago is coming up?
"When you say you love me, the world goes still... so still insde and, When you say you love me, for a moment there is no one else alive." Why does that man say the exact things I want to say? Maybe I'll ask him when I see him this summer... HA!
I lost Dave Koz. I can't find it anywhere!
Too much drama in my family. I'm leaving. Whippi Dip here I come. There is nothing like drowning yourself in a turtle to forget about the rents.
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[24 Apr 2004|01:12am] |
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The Rite of Spring |
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I haven't written in this almost a year, and probably won't again for a long time, but I swear this is the most exciting news ever.
My cousin is a composer.
My cousin is a faculty member at the Cleaveland Institute of Music.
My cousin is on the composition faculty at the Cleaveland Institute of Music.
My cousin is now the acting freaking COMPOSITION DEPARTMENT CHAIR at the Cleaveland Institute of Music.
The New York Philharmonic premiered a piece by her at Carnegie Hall last night. I love it.
I have never been so freaking proud to be a cousin. I had no idea she was so freaking amazing! But, obviously she is. She's won like every composition competition ever, and now with this job offer, I mean come on! She's also the founder of The Cleavland Institute's Youth Outreach Composition Program (Similar to Michigan Youth). This might not seem that big to some people, but this is huge. This is amazing, big time amazing. My cousin is a department chair at one of the top conservatories in the world. Not to mention at a school where Reeths Puffer's band director wasn't even accepted. And, she's not even 30.
www.oriannawebb.net
That is all, see you again in another year.
PS - For decoration, I changed my user picture. I am the biggest loser ever.
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[12 Jun 2003|08:30pm] |
Mmmmm.... There is nothing like ending your night with doughnuts, slush puppies (not slurpies), cheap flowers, Fufu Jones Soda, a nice movie, mad honking and driving skills, and the coolest person in the world... Molly Kling! Yay!
Bringin Down the House is a very good movie!! yay! however there are a few racist comments in the movie.... aka the old lady coming out with a baseball bat ready to hit something, "I thought I heard someone speaking negro.".... all the while made better by the fact that the whole audience we were with happened to black. I'm not racist at all or anything like that... but hearing the audience shout back "oh no you didnt" really makes the movie better yay.
Lisa better like the flower i bought her. it is one quality flower, as we all know.
Indeed... a good end to a entire good day. 12 hours ago, at midnight, I was having a party at caitlins house. now, "the second midnight", getting back from more funness. This has been a good day! rock on!
PS - I am going to bed. It has been a great 43 hours! lol
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[12 Jun 2003|07:21pm] |
Ahh... this weekend... oh wait... these are weekdays. This week is my best friend. I don't even know where to start.
Band... eh, we have a chance to be good, as much as I hate to support our band. It's so weird to be talking about musicality, intonation, and especially like hand position in reeths puffer marching band. it kinda scares me, because ... we might be good. ah well.
after the band theres the after party. that would be at caitlins house. a bunch of people went, and played euchre until we no longer could. then we did other things that most of us are too cashed to remember. That's all there is to it. All I know is it has been 37 hours and 15 minutes since I last slept! yay! I got a call from linda & co in chicago during the afterparty, but i was very confused... my phone does not do well in those boondocks known as twin lake. So i only heard every other word. ah confusing.
anyway, so me and emily and smelly. we stink. lol its okay. we made this plan not to shower so that we could smell bad together, but i broke the pact and showered just like 10 minutes ago, because indeed this sleep-deprived party is not even over yet. I am going to see Bringin down the house with molly kling and two other peoples i have yet to meet, and only know they are perverted??? lol.. whatever. it rocks my socks. yay.
So I am ready to leave now. I want to type this, hopefully everyone has made it this far... because this actually has importance. I just read this in US NEWS, and thought it's interesting. Any comments.
"I think since people are living much longer... the 22nd Amendment should probably be ratified to say two consecutive terms instead of two terms for a lifetime"
--Bill Clinton, pushing a law change that would let him run for president again.
I wouldn't mind. I mean...he's a controversial issue. you either like him or you dont. But while I don't agree with everything.... I agree with his demorcratic ideals over bush's conservative ones, just because of who i am. And personally... I thought clinton was a good president. The country prospered anyway, and that I believe should define good.
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[09 Jun 2003|01:31pm] |
My mom is dumb. She had to go into work early, so instead of just calling me and letting me know, she decides to come pick me up and tell me. Whatever she can do to embarrass I guess. Whatever, as long as I'm not in trouble.
Yesterday was Linda & Andy's open houses. They were both alot better then I had planned on. i guess I will just go to a resourceful list of the rememberables.
-wall o' linda (with ryan commenting)
-potato bar
-HIPPOLITA
-SHH here she comes.
-Ryan's diploma stealing
-sharp objects all around the house
-crocheting in the grandma chair
-being a scribe
-my mad ping pong skills
-jennys slippers
-RESIST A BALL!!! definately a classic
-umm....my cool mom.
so that is a very readers digest version of the day. I came home and listened to lots of into the woods. i like that stuff more and more every day, because its so... nonmeaningful. its almost hard to listen to rent now. everything has a meaning. i might be getting....rented out :-(.
sigh. there are certain people i really want to talk to. i would call them right now, but im afraid they might hang up. Sigh. Living for the moment doesn't work for tomorrow's moments.
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[07 Jun 2003|02:30am] |
Okay so I'm reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintnence. I wish I would have picked it up earlier. Just in the last few days, it has had such a profound influence on how I approach. . . life. Yet it was written in the 70's. How many other treasures like that exist... I know, alot. It's just amazing that things that you don't even know exist, can affect your life. For example after seeing Tick, Tick... Boom! in Chicago. . . I am the only person I know who's actually seen it, so I don't know if anyone understands... but a way overgeneralized austinized theme of the show is, do you want to wait and anticipate the boom, or enjoy the 'tick' and let the boom happen. Some people have called me a betrayer, that I am betraying my friends. Let me tell them right now I am not. I care about everyone. But, at this point, I am savoring the moment, and making it the best I can. I am not going to wait and worry for the boom. I am going to live for the day... there is only this. So as I sit here listening to TTB, I have to point out certain lyrics that have affected who I am.
"Love is passe in this day and age"
"Come to your senses, defenses are not the way to go"
"Why do we leave our hand on the stove, when we know, we're in for some pain"
"cages or wings, which do you perfer? Ask the birds"
"actions speak louder then words"
"why do we stay with lovers, who we know down deep, just aren't right."
"why do we seek ecstasy in all the wrong places"
"I want to write music. I want to sit down right now at my piano and write a song that people will listen to and remember, and do the same thing every morning for the rest of my life."
"on sunny days, i always find the rain"
"i wonder now, am i cut out, to spend my time this way"
i could explain all of these in detail... but won't. They all have affected me.....every body I know has affected me. All of this from a musical written 10 years ago. How much more is out there waiting for me to find it. How much more can make us grow as people. I know there has been lots of drama going on... and it's driving some people insane. Why can't we all just be happy. We all like ourselves. We all like our company. Let's leave it at that, people having a good time. That's what it is. Let's make the best of it. Everyone. We could all use a little motorcycle maintnence, it seems to me.
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[05 Jun 2003|06:54pm] |
Tonight i got in a fight with my parents, and as usual, the line "life isn't fair" was said. Since I was playing the role of the kid, i shouted "because you make it not fair"... even though at the same time I was thinking otherwise.
"I have to laugh. We sure put on a show. Love is passe in this day and age. How can we expect it to grow? You as the knight. Me as the queen. All I've got tonight, is static on a screen."
I was reading my last entry, from right after graduation. I was so... happy. I'm almost ashamed of my tremendous mood i was in.
It's not that I'm in a bad mood. It's just. . . not a good one. Have you ever spilled to someeone or just give it all in something you gave them, only to have them not notice at all. Hmmm.... it makes you feel extremly worthless. But that's alright. It's all good. There is all this drama going on with everyone around me, and I am so happy I'm not a part of it. But.... even without THAT specific drama, life is too dramatic.
Interlochen is in 10 days. It will be heaven. It will be life, minus the drama, plus the music. Stephen Davis rocks my socks. That's the reason he's my mid-40's winnner. Sigh.
Deep in my eyes, what do you see? Deep in my sighs, listen to me. Let the music commence from inside. Not only one sense, but use all five. Come to your senses, Come to your senses, Come to your senses, Baby come back ALIVE.
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[03 Jun 2003|11:45pm] |
Sigh... Graduation. It was fun, it really was. It leaves a semi-cloud of uncertainty over the next couple of weeks, but I really enjoyed it. I read Ryan's LJ, and saw what was on the back of the program: Finding Faith, Finding Self, Finding Purpose. I didn't get a chance to see the programs there, but that is awesome. Just for Reeths Puffer printing that makes me prouder. Mmmm... So tonight, the ride to the arena was fun. I sat with Jones, and we talked smack about people. Heh. Anyway we got there and I got to haul peppers bari through the crowd. That sucked. The graduation stuff was nice. I clapped for everyone. It made me feel good. The story Mr Beckeman told, about Butch Cassidy & Easy Eddie, we learned about that w/ Mrs Schramski, only I forgot, so it was a whole new suprise. Anyway the obvious high point for me and most everyone.... LINDA'S SPEECH!
Linda, Linda, Linda. . . It makes me so happy to be able to call you my friend. It really does. Your entire speech was, like ryan said, beautiful. When you started quoting TTB, i melted. Oh man, I melted. I was like, that's my cd!! thats my cd!!! Yay. You made me happy. I have to write the quote:
"I want to write music. I want to sit down right now at my piano and write a song that people will listen to and remember, and do the same thing every morning for the rest of my life."
So yes, very nice. Very nice. Very nice. Johnny can't decide. All I can say is: rock on to a2 lunches. :-) I'm still melting.
On my way home I planned my dinner for tomorrow w/ beth. Then me and sarah went to tcby. oh wait, they are closed. So then we went to wesco, and saw lindsey beckeman. She talked to me, and i was like wow, you've only talked to me once. Yay. That also made me happy. After our nice big icees, we came back to my house and watched like five minutes of the emporers new groove.
Breakfast w/ Sarah Bowman tomorrow. Yay for early.
I am in such a happy mood. I'm happy for the graduates. Everyone. It makes me happy, and excited for what lies ahead. I guess this quote from a way over played savage garden song describes the mood I'm in. Have a great night.
"I want to stand with you on a mountain. I want to bathe with you in the sea. I want to lay like this forever, UNTIL THE SKY FALLS DOWN ON ME."
Forever for some reason feels like too short a time. There must be a bigger period, a bigger time, a bigger emotion, to describe things. Forever is so .... finite. Sigh. I love life.
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[31 May 2003|10:40pm] |
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. . . . The sound of me sleeping.
DING! The sound of the doorbell.
Laughing out loud! My response to seeing a cop, paul, andrea, and caitiln
So basically... people can be bitter. This is how much I care. Honestly. This is how much I care. Anyway, I have no reason to be mad. The skunk is my garbage can. Caitlin's parents have yet to find out. I don't know what their reaction will be to caitlin with the cop... bad might be better. But you see, this is how much I care. It did remind me exactly why we aren't a couple anymore. "were just setting an example for austin....." shut up. cynical. sarcastic. bitter. It gets old after a while, especially when you get to the part where your standing next to the cop outside my door. smooth.
I love the cops. These people are so dumb. I guess that when you see the cops, your instinct should not be run. That's not any better. Wow. Dumb is the only word to describe it. See, we have yet to get the cops called. Other then at speedway. Ahh... lol. Anyway I'm out. It's 2:00.... bed.
ps... although completly unrelated, i watched adaptation tonight... i have to write this:
"A certain flower looks like a certain insect, so the insect is drawn to this flower: it's double, it's soulmate. It wants nothing more then to make love it. After, the insect flies off, spots another soulmate flower and makes love to it: Thus, pollinating it. And neither the flower, nor the insect will ever understand the significance of their lovemaking. I mean, how could they know that beceause of their little dance, the world lives. It does. By simply doing what their designed to do something large and magnificent happens. In this sense they show us how to live. How the only barometer you have is your heart. How, when you spot your flower, you can't let anything get in your way."
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[31 May 2003|06:44pm] |
Saturday May 31, 2003. School is out. For good. It feels so good. The only time I need to spend at the highschool, is Tuesday. I have to go pick up my test out books, and talk to mr hodson, the focker that gave me 3 unexcused absences, when i wasn't even absent. Thanks to him, my parents think I skip school to get high and have sex. Thanks Chuck.
Yesterday rocked my socks. My mom wrote me a note signing me out for an "orthodontist appointment". AKA I drove with molly and andrew to the theatre. There we met beth, linda, eric, and brandon. Finding Nemo was really good, I did enjoy it. Dory the fish was definately my favorite. Although Linda did get a little scared by the sharks.... hate to think what she'd be like if she watched a REAL scary movie, like, The Rescuers Down Under. That is a good movie, I am going to watch it tonight. Anyone remember it? Anyway we saw the movie and I enjoyed it. Molly left to go to work. We all drove to Meijer(no s), to get lindas pictures. Andy is an .... awesome driver! All I know is the backseat was definately quality time spent getting CLOSE to beth. tick. Also, I ate the ear off of hippolita, or hippolicious, or.... ill just call it mine. Did Linda ever notice it's not there anymore? Hmm.... Anyway at meijers me and andrew bought icees and we were such big rebels. We ignored the out of order sign AND got refills. Oh man... were fugitives practically now. We all then went to the highschool, then fricanos. Somehow we made it out of there with like 4 pizzas, when we payed for two. Rock on. The way home...... Silly string. After attacking people in the parking lot, and linda attacking the ceiling of her car, we managed to make it on the road. We tried spraying brandons car while passing him at 55, so obviously didnt work. At a stoplight however we did have success in hitting matt haskin's truck (i was under orders!!!). Anyway I made it home, and after a quarrel with the parents left for the symphony. It was alright, but I threw up when I got home, and went straight to bed. I fealt kinda bad, after yelling at linda to go... but im sure noone noticed I wasn't there, and I was content with throwing up in my own bathroom.
Today . . . . oh i left all my stuff in lindas car. When will i get that back I slowly ask myself?? or linda??? hmm.... So after a whole day of planning my night with beth, and after getting this close (..) to seeing the beach sunset with sarah, my parents decide I am grounded for the rest of the weekend. That resulted in a fight... my parents think i am the worst kid ever. They think i drink. they think i do drugs. they think i have sex. they think i skip school. too bad i do ....... almost none of those things. unless you count my skipping school to see nemo, and of course... alcohols not all bad... But basically, they think i suck. And so will tomorrow, sitting at home alone. Anyway... I hope that monday makes up for it. I am going to do something monday. Right sarah!!!! We are doing something. Ahh!! Even if i have to walk, or crawl, or hop on one foot to get somewhere like brandons house i am going to. i cant sit at home two days in a row. oh and i washed my dads car today, thinking it would make him happy. too bad after all my work, he walked outside and said, "i liked it better dirty, might as well wax it now." asshole. I worked hard. So i waxed.
I just tried to make espresso... I better leave it to latte girls... I called her today. I left a voice mail. I am too cool for words. but yeah it was okay. i drank my italian roast coffee, and am now drinking coke. i am planning an allnigther, so i can sleep tomorrow and pretend im not grounded.
These are my goals for monday.
Get my stuff from linda
get my stuff from abbi
hang out with sarah EARLy, like 8 in the morning
hang out with everyone at one point or another
go to starbucks at barnes & noble
spend at least 75 dollars out and about
come home smiling
wow. anyway this entry was a beast, but I'm going to go start my movie-thon.
"He lives in you." - Lion King
Aloha
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[29 May 2003|05:21pm] |
Today... relaxing. I guess people are all having a great time, rock on. Because at this point...... SCREW IT!
Indeed we have more relating to do. Sometime, right. Let's relate sometime. I don't often have my phone off at midnight... I'd welcome a call that late from more then just one person. Not that I don't enjoy me and sarah's 1 oclock conversations. In fact, I live for them. Rock on, hobby lobby.
I changed my picture. Marcus Moran is going to lose at the finale of algebra euchre tomorrow. 1 day of school left. I am excited. Too bad I don't get out of school at like 1. Oh well. . . Screw it. 1 day, 6 hours, 360 minutes, an odd amount of seconds. If I was interlochen I could figure seconds out... oh wait. rock on to piano playing / not playing, turning pages at jazz potluck. I had fun. Even if caitlin didnt. At least we didn't get yelled at today. As mr tischmer cuts us off :-(
This entry is dumb and I should not post it, but i am.
Next time, can I go w/ you?? Not that I'm trying to be a tagalong... but... it would be nice.
Aloha.
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| i lied, im not done |
[27 May 2003|10:20pm] |
i have to write these lyrics... they describe me entire life right now. no im not a pyro.
why, do we play with fire?
why, do we run our finger through the flame?
why, do we leave our hand on the stove,
although we know we're in for some pain?
I hate deciding.... fire/pain ... or cold/empty. hmm....
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[27 May 2003|09:42pm] |
Today... well. Let's take this step by step.
1. Brandon in the morning, I love seeing him every morning. It's the only time we really talk. I like it.
2. School... 3 days left.
3. Abi came to school, and brought me to the beach. It was pretty fun. We listened to tick tick boom. We got our festival cd's back and i sound really good so it was a fun afternoon.
4. Abi was bringing me back to the highschool when I got a voicemail from sarah asking for me to come to meijers. i called her and told abi to drop me off there.
5. THE CORNER OF HOLTON AND GILES!!!! THE CORNER OF HOLTON AND GILES!!! OH MAN! I sat in one spot for 24 minutes!!!!! 24!!!! AHHH!!! It was horrible. the damn traffic man needs to take lessons in directing traffic. it caused me mad seizures (see lindas lj)
6. Got to meijers... saw sarah. i was denied. so i watcehd them buy stuff, and i thought i almost got linda to shoplift starburst, but then she had to go and pay for them. geeze. at this point she still hated me
7. drove to michigans adventure. listened to tick tick boom kinda. then ben folds :-) anyway that rocked. i got dropped off at the highschool for hell...oh i meant marching band. Anyway I lost my cd, temporarily, but if it got me off the hook it was worth it. Although I prefer to think i gave it, it wasnt stolen. :-)
8. 3 hours of hell commensed. I hate marching band. however, the look on my sections face when the midi played will be priceless forever. i think we're gonna be good this year. word.
9. i came home. linda i guess no longer hates me. my sisters concert was tonight. new music. got a lesson from professors. word. good day.
I just hope i get my cd back... maybe I'll get it when I go see lizzie with linda. yeah thats right.
"the time is flying, and everything is dying. I thought by now I'd have a dog and kid and wife".
Adios
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